How Her Neck Unlocked (And I Didn’t Even Touch Her)

The body responds to the state we're living in. Learning to shift this state is where change begins ♡

A couple of years ago I felt very strongly that I wanted to expand my resources for how I could help people (and myself) that came to see me that was both expanded and evidence-based.

Because I noticed, over and over again, that so much muscle tension, so many headaches, cramps, knots, pain, fatigue were the effects of a body that was out of balance, or out of homeostasis.

In other words, these symptoms were often outcomes - caused by some mental or emotional stress rather than a physical stress.

A great example of this was a woman that used to come in for health coaching. One particular day she came in with a neck that wouldn't turn and said "I guess I need a massage instead of coaching today because my neck won't move." Now, this woman didn't even really like massage. She was honest about that.

So here she was - clearly uncomfortable - with a neck that was frozen, about to do something she didn't even want to do. She had limited range and limited choice.

I remember a rush of energy moving through my body, a kind of excitement at the potential of serving in a way that could expand not only her mind, but also her heart... as well as her sense in possibility and choice.

Instead of having her lie on the table I asked her if she would be interested in learning a little bit of science and information.

I showed her something I often teach in the HeartMath® program called the Depletion to Renewal Grid - how our emotional states affect us not just mentally, but biochemically. How stress isn’t just a feeling… it’s a chemical and hormonal state.

And how emotions like appreciation, care, or even a small sense of relief can begin to shift that chemistry in the other direction - toward repair, regulation and renewal.

We weren’t doing anything complicated. We were just sitting as two humans with beating hearts and breathing lungs who have experienced a wide range of human emotions. We were learning and talking. We were building our understanding. We threw in a couple of laughs to keep it light and real. We were connected, engaged and present with the session.

Then we did a simple coherence practice - slowing the breath, bringing attention to the heart, and intentionally shifting our awareness to sense and feel an emotion from the renewal side of the grid.

From the depletion side of the grid to the renewal side.

From depleting emotions... to renewing emotions.

We shifted on purpose, with intention and attention.

We practiced flexibility in our internal state by using the power of the mind and the intelligence of the heart. We used memory and understanding of our physiology.

No massage.

No tissue work.

No hands-on at all.

At the end, I asked her: “How’s your neck?”

She looked right, then left. She said "It moves."

The restriction was gone.

It wasn’t the muscle! Or rather the muscle tensing up and locking up was an outcome of where she had been placing her attention and energy. All we did was bring her attention back to her inner world - on her emotions, her energy-in-motion - and gently re-direct it toward more renewing states of being.

We are so powerful! You should know that we are either....:

... inflaming our body or repairing our body.

... consuming energy or renewing energy.

... surviving or creating.

And now she has a memory of how powerful she is, a memory that lives in her body, that she can resource anytime, anywhere - all she has to do is re-member.

This doesn’t mean bodywork isn’t valuable. It absolutely is! I take great heart pride in the fact that hopefully most people who leave my space leave feeling a little more whole than when they stepped in. Intentional touch, fascia (connective tissue) and muscle work are powerful, helpful and an important part of anyone's health-care plan.

We can make changes matter to matter - food, exercise, bodywork, etc.

But we should also know how our bodies work physiologically when it comes to our emotions. Because our emotions are our life.

This example is just one example of something I see every week in my practice.

Sometimes the body isn’t stuck because of the tissue. We can't manipulate the problem from the outside because the body is responding to the environment it’s living in. And I don't just mean air quality, pollen, sunshine, nature or city environments. It’s responding to our internal environment.

Our thoughts and emotions create a cocktail of chemicals in the body that tell our cells how to behave. And tissues - ex) muscles and fascia - are made up of those cells.

Stress chemistry signals protection → muscles tighten, breathing changes, blood pressure and heart rate increase.

The body organizes around defense.

And if that state is repeated over and over again, the body learns it. It becomes conditioned to it, it becomes familiar, it becomes the baseline.

But when we shift the internal state - even slightly - we send a different signal to our cells.

By changing where we place our attention, by becoming aware of the thoughts we're thinking and the emotions we're feeling, we begin to change the inner environment.

HeartMath research shows that when we shift to renewing emotions like care, appreciation, or compassion, our hearts begin to beat in a more ordered, coherent rhythm. Now there's more available energy in the entire system - heart, brain and body. And that is energy we can use for repair, for renewal, for regeneration.

When the energy is no longer being consumed for survival - for fight or flight or freeze (like a locked up neck)... and the attention and focus is taken off of whatever triggered fear, frustration, anger, judgment, jealousy... and instead is placed on learning, opportunity, choice and emotions like safety, relief, ease and freedom... now the body has the conditions (environment) it needs to return to balance. In this case, the neck could move freely again.

When the nervous system shifts, the body responds.

This is why I care so deeply about combining bodywork with emotional and nervous system awareness.

Because we can stretch, massage, strengthen, and do all the “right” things, but if the internal environment doesn’t change, the body often keeps returning to the same patterns - especially if habitual states of thinking/feeling/doing aren't modified, promoted or fired.

Not because it’s broken, but because it has been conditioned by repeated chemistry. That chemistry influences gene expression.

I can hear Dr. Joe Dispenza's voice in my head as I write saying "It's a scientific fact that the hormones of stress down-regulate genes and create dis-ease." And "Where you place your attention is where you place your energy."

Friends, our energy truly is our greatest currency.

When we begin to shift our internal environment - through awareness, breath, and intentional emotional states - the body can respond in ways that feel almost surprising.

Because we are not just physical bodies.

We are electrical, emotional, relational beings with electromagnetic fields that can be measured several feet beyond our bodies. We are constantly responding not only to our outer environment, but also to our inner one.

Often what what we think is a muscle problem… is really a signal problem.

The questions become:

• What kind of signals are we sending each day?

• Are we living in coherent states... or incoherent ones?

• Are we spending most of our time on the depletion side of the grid - feeling anger, frustration, agitation, guilt, shame, jealousy, insecurity, hopelessness, loneliness, grief, impatience, resentment?

• Or are we intentionally cultivating renewal, exercising the muscle of emotional intelligence by teaching ourselves how to shift and feel care, appreciation, kindness, trust, safety, compassion, peace, belonging, awe, joy, inspiration?

• What might change for our health condition, our sleep, our chronic aches, pains and problems if we were to prioritize awareness of the signals we send and then modify them to match who we want to BE?

Our emotions are affecting our biology whether we’re aware of them or not. They’re affecting us biologically, chemically, hormonally whether we’re justified in our anger or hurt or not. Just as stress accumulates and can be reflected in our health metrics, so does resilience and flexibility. We can measure this in our heart-rate variability (HRV) and heart rhythms.

Learning emotional flexibility and resilience is like giving a massage to the heart and the brain. And when the heart and the brain are working together - in harmony, in coherence - the body responds.

It just might do more for your neck tension in the long run. ;)

Love,

Sarah

If you want to learn more, I do private sessions as well as group classes to teach and practice the how, what, and why of emotional intelligence and nervous system regulation. Learn more here.