Massage Isn't Just for the Body

Creating Space in the Home

Yesterday I spent the whole morning cleaning the entire house.  Making space on every counter and table where things collect, making space on the floor where toy creations have taken up residence, making space everywhere I could because the house had become tight and restricted, lacking flow.

I massaged the house and it massaged my nervous system back. 

I let the space of an extra hour in the morning ripple into extra space in my physical house and in the home of my being.

Space. 

Ahhh.

A sigh.

A slower than usual inhale.

A longer than usual exhale.

Space in the home.

With the slowness of fall here in the Northern Hemisphere, slow soups and broths, multi-day sourdough making, writing and course-creating and I have found our way back to each other with open arms.

Even postponing our cross-country move to Florida from this month until next spring has crept in... more space to prepare for change.

In the fall we harvest the fruits of our labor from the year.

In the winter we rest, replenish, prepare, and then,

In the spring we spring into new life.

In the summer, we bear fruit, we feel, we play.

Syncing up our breathing with the breath of life, the breath of seasons regulates our hormones and our nervous systems.

Space for a New Experience

I had someone on the table a few weeks ago who I had never met before. He was traveling through and only near the mid-end of the massage did he tell me that he never lets anyone touch his left foot. I had already visited his right foot, left foot, hips, back, and would have never known.

He told me he had had an accident where his left foot and ankle had been crushed and later reconstructed. To this day when anyone got around his left foot, he recoiled out of protection. That's what happens with memories - they have associated emotions. And even though the event is over, his body has been conditioned to protect. It's a beautiful mechanism if you reframe it to see that you are just trying to keep you safe. But it's a perception - a perceived threat based on a past experience. Perceptions are not facts. They're not the same as truth.

He felt called to share because it was the way that I had started the session that made space for him to have a new, more evolved experience.

Before I start any session, with anyone, no matter who it is, I invite people to sync up their breathing with my breathing - to let me sync up my breathing with their breathing - by having both of us bring our attentions into our bodies, into our hearts and begin breathing slower and deeper than usual.

I used to be nervous to start this way but session after session after session has proven that it only adds value, is often more effective, efficient and memorable. I often get the feedback, "That was so much more than just a massage."

It's not rocket science, it's just multi-dimensional. It's not just about the frozen shoulder or sore knee, the pain in the low back or the stiff neck. That's only one dimension.

When we bring in a massage for the heart and the brain, the body responds to all that space that has been freed up. There's a liberation of energy in the body. And that's energy that can be used for bringing the physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual aspects of the true self back into right relationship with the whole.

So, before we do anything, we simply breathe together. That's it.

It's an initiation. We initiate a state of heart-brain coherence - of order, of rhythm, of harmony, of interconnectedness. I used to say "Before we begin, let's... " but I now know that this IS the beginning.

Because the breath and the heart are the doorway between us and everything else.

It's the fertile ground for preparing the body to receive. It sets the tone It communicates safety. No hackles, defense, protection, bracing needed here. It's not useful here.

What does this give us?

Space.

Space for a new experience from a different state of being because our minds and our hearts are the homes of our thoughts and feelings.

We make space between thoughts with a breath and a pause = our brain waves slow down.

We make space in the heart by shifting into neutral or ease = our heart rate slows down.

A Massage for the Heart and the Brain

Heart focus, heart breathing and heart feeling help us shift from a survival state to a creative state.

It brings in space between thoughts, thoughts like: "How is she going to start? I hope I get enough pressure, I hope I get my money's worth... am I going to tell her to skip over my left foot?"

It brings space between feelings of anxiety, worry, nervousness, preoccupation with self that are associated with those thoughts.

And in that space there lies a mystery. An intelligence. A self-organizing principle that takes care of everything for us... if only we take a moment to access the space to sync up with it.

It's a kind of teamwork, a synergy, an equanimity, a fellowship - not between our personalities, but our homes, our hearts, brains, nervous systems, all of our combined 70 trillion cells and all of the energy unseen that is within us and all around us.

So, how can you bring in more space during this November season?

How can you apply this practically in your life?

A massage for the brain may look like putting down your phone, giving more space to the inputs coming in, giving your brain less to filter through. It may look like allowing your brain waves to slow down through making or enjoying art or music or food or play. It could be through taking a drive in the country, watching falling leaves, taking a walk or sitting somewhere in nature.

A massage for the heart may look like a random act of kindness. It may look like letting the lungs massage the heart by breathing slowly and deeply for some amount of minutes. It could be by thinking of someone or something or some place that brings a warm, easeful feeling into the center of your chest.

When we massage the body - the skin, connective tissue, muscles, joints - we stimulate blood flow, we stimulate synovial fluid, we stimulate chi and lymphatic fluid. We break up stuckness and adhesions. We increase our range of motion.

Trigger points are painful because they lack space. Addictive thought patterns are painful, too - for the same reason. Fear, worry and anxiety cause stiffness and pain in our hearts, lower our heart-rate variability (HRV), making our hearts beat out of rhythm, making us prone to dis-ease in the body, mind and spirit.

So what can we do?

We can massage them.

We can add attention to places that often go untouched, and in doing so, we increase our range of motion. We increase our range of experience. We increase our capacity to experience more of life's delights.

By adding in safety, love, appreciation through a state of coherence, we expand our capacity and create space for what we once thought was impossible to experience - whether it’s a deep level of recognizing our own humanity, allowing our left foot or any other part to be touched without guarding, or trusting more than we ever felt safe to.

When we massage our brains and our hearts, our bodies respond.

When we create space for new thoughts and new feelings, we subtly shift the way we experience reality. Our perceptions change. The lens through which we see the world softens.

When we think and feel differently, we see differently. We experience differently.

A Practical Exercise:

Step 1: Give yourself a light touch by bringing your hand to your heart.

Step 2: Breathe slower and deeper into your hand, feeling your heart area rise and fall.

Step 3: Conjure up a memory of someone, something or some place that activates an elevated feeling of the heart.

Step 4: Let your body be immersed in the feeling that is associated with that memory - let it consume you in the way that hot water becomes infused with tea or coffee, in the way that turning on a fireplace heats up a cold room.

Step 5: Linger in this new space you've created with your attention.

May you find ways to massage your body, brain, and heart each day, every day - to stimulate flow and repair, to make space for change, to replenish your entire being, to nourish the roots of your house and home.

Because massage isn’t just for the body - it’s for all of you. It's a practical, multi-use tool in your toolbox for living life as an art of wholeness in every aspect of your life.